I am married to a man... but a lesbian, can you give me some insight?

He has to sense that something is wrong if you aren't eating or sleeping. He also has to sense that something is up because you don't kiss him and there isn't any (or much) sex going on between the two of you. That said, it is best that you tell him what you are going through. If you lose him, which may happen, that is something you'll have to make peace with. But if he really is as compassionate as you let on, then there is a good chance he will be understanding. I do believe divorce is the only real solution to your problem. You say you owe him so much so start with telling him the truth.